The Great War of the Social Networking Gods
by half of Twin
Summary: A war between several gods of social networking websites, which had been put to an end by the meddeling of Zeus and our hero, Cellular Phonus


Long ago, like, five years ago, there was a war raging in the world, one that may have been the end of mankind, as we know it. Had it not been for the hero of this story, many people may not have needed unlimited texting in our world today. Who was this hero who brought us out of those dark days of being on computers on hours end? His name was Cellular Phonus, and his peace making creation was texting.

You see, the gods Face Bookus and Spaceus were enraged with the goddess Tweet. And this rage started a war that would last forever: two whole years of mindless bickering. This very serious, and very stupid, war had started when Tweet had claimed her gift to humanity was far superior to theirs. "Impossible," Face Bookus bellowed in his ever-British accent, "facebook is way better than any other social network!"

This angered Spaceus, for he too thought his social networking creation was the best of all. "Dude, you got it all wrong! There aint nothin' better than myspace. Not even my awesome bling and diamond grill," Spaceus responded in his fake gangster-wannabe act.

So as you can see, this war started due to these three gods being conceited and dangerously stupid. Seriously, they all talked in fake accents because they heard it was cool from Zeus's posts, most people saw this coming…though not to this disastrous degree.

"Ya'll are just being stupid. Isn't the answer obvious? Twitter is the best, end of story." And there you have the goddess Tweet and her opinion, which is complimented by her odd manners and southern accent-, which Zeus also posted, was cool.

Spaceus, stupid as he is, wanted nothing more than to punch her. Though all he did was continue this argument further with "myspace came first, so it has got to be better than anythin' else you guys could eva' come up with."

"Twitter is the newest, so the technology and everything else is better. Face it, my gift to the world is the latest and greatest," was Tweet's reasoning. Now, what she has said does make some sense, but she just added fuel to the fire with her comment.

Face Bookus remained silent at this, trying to think of something that would make him seem awesome and make facebook the go-to social network of the century. And then, it hit him like lightning…no seriously, Zeus liked listening to this argument so he hit Face Bookus with lightning and gave him an idea. There's a reason why Mount Olympus doesn't have cable. "Yeah? Well I have over three million friends on facebook!"

Tweet, deciding that she would not be out done, exclaimed "I have two million followers on twitter!"

"So…twitter is for stalkers? Dang, girl! Bringin' cyber stalking to the world, huh?"

Yeah, this went on for two more years, bringing Zeus much entertainment. Though, after a while, even he started to become annoyed by this mindless argument. The gods and goddess did not listen to Zeus when he attempted to put an end to this. With no choice left, he went to his private gym and consulted his friend whom he often played basketball with, Cellular Phonus.

Cellular Phonus had created texting years ago, but it was not quite as popular as these social networking websites. To put an end to this fighting, he got on each of this social networks and posted that texting was the hottest new thing. Not days later, everyone had a cell phone and sore thumbs.

When Face Bookus noticed there were less and less people on facebook, he started to worry and accused Tweet and Spaceus of sabotage. When they claimed not to have done anything, they checked out their sites with their iPhones and saw that there were fewer hits each day on myspace and twitter, too.

The gods went to consult this with Zeus, but when he had started explaining what had happened, they all got bored and started texting each other. And that is the reason why everyone has started texting and why the world needs unlimited texting.


End file.
